| You gotta fake it til you make it baby! |
[18 Jun 2007|10:46pm] |
Stomach flu and all I dragged myself out of bed today to go to my first teaching job interview. As I drove to the elementary school in Chatsworth, I begged the heavens above to calm my naseau, to alleviate my tremendous stomach pain, and to relieve the unbearable dizziness that has been tormenting me for a week now. I slapped myself in the face to try and muster up the energy I needed to "sell" myself for the interview because my lethargy was quite prominent. I talked myself up. "Take it like a woman Erica. This could perhaps be the most important interview of your life. Boo hoo stomach flu. Get over it! This is your life. You need this. You want this. You gotta gotta have it child. Now what are you going to say to the principal to get her to hire you? PRACTICE!" So I did. I rehearsed my answers to questions I imagined she would ask and as I pulled up to the school I felt prepared and not as ill as before.
I entered the office and kids were running around asking about where the pizza was. One student was pacing back and forth and back and forth in front of me and it took everything in me not to tell him to sit down. Everything seemed to be irritating me simply because I just am not well. I sat there in a daze waiting to be called into the principals office. Ha. Fortunately this time I wasn't in trouble and I wasn't a grade schooler. Finally she came to greet me. She had a warm and inviting prescence about her and I instantly knew how much I wanted this job. I was ready to sell myself and all the naseau, stomach pains, confusion and diziness disappeared. I was ready to dazzle her.
But instead of leading me to her office she lead me to the library. What? We walked in and as I turned the corner there sat six strangers at a long table with pads of paper and pens in hand and a seat for me in front of all of them. WHAT? I wasn't expecting this! I thought it was just going to me and the principal with the sweet smile. Woah wait a second I wasn't ready for all of this. Especially since I had thrown up earlier. OY! Oh well, there was no turning back. I was introduced to the math coach, the literacy coach, a fifth grade teacher, a third grade teacher, and a parent who has two kids who go to that school. "WOW WELL HELLO!" I exclaimed as I felt my face turn red. I bet you could fry bacon on my face that's how hot it felt. But there was no turning back. I felt like I was on American Idol. All eyes on me. It was nerve-racking but exciting at the same time. I wanted to say everything I rehearsed but holy shit all these people and they are writing things down about me and who knows what's really going through their heads???
Each person asked me a different question. How would I handle this and how would I handle that? What strategies would I implement in my classroom? How would I meet the needs of all students? How would I make sure my classroom was standards-based? Ahhhh!
In the end, I made them laugh, I made them laugh a lot actually. I showed them my personality and my passion and my enthusiasm for teaching. The principal told me how refreshing it is to see a new teacher because there's that fresh new excitement. I forgot to say a lot of the things I had rehearsed over and over again in my apartment, in my head and in my car, but I did the best I could. I was very animated and so what if I didn't have all the "right" answers? Would you rather have a fun, enthusiastic person on your staff who is new, or an old biddy? I have to say for the shape I was in this morning, I pulled it off. I will find out Friday what the verdict is. I feel like singing that song from "A Chorus Line"--"God I hope I get it, I hope I get it."
But even if I don't get it, it's okay. It was my first REAL interview for my actual first CAREER. Yes, I've had many interviews for dead-end jobs but this was a whole different ball game. This was major. And I have to say, I'm proud of myself. :)
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| Psychotic episodes |
[30 Mar 2007|06:38am] |
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It's been a rough week to say the least but I am coming out of it, plus it's Friday thankgod. I have never looked more forward to Friday's in my life since I started this second semester of school. My "mentor" teacher who I am supervised under in the third grade pulled a psychotic break on me out of absolutely nowhere on Tuesday. She literally flipped out. In the past weeks, I have gotten nothing but praise and compliments from her yet on Tuesday, the woman was having a bad day and chose to take it out on me. She was HORRIBLE to me. She told me I didn't have the passion to be a teacher (Which just the week before she had told me herself how much my heart was into this and wrote me an excellent letter of reccommendation), she basically tore me down as hard as she could. She's having personal issues and it's quite apparent to me she has some mental ones as well but I lost it. I cried the minute she told me I wasn't ready to have my own class and had no passion for teaching because anyone would tell you that is completely untrue. I was a mess in front of the students and I became the bigger person and pretty much begged her to give me another chance because she was ready to call my supervisor and tell her that she didn't want me in her class anymore. I was completely dumbfounded by all of this because NOTHING happened. I could understand if she was constantly criticizing me or I felt I wasn't doing a good job but all she ever told me was how great I was doing. So all in all she had a psychotic episode. We came to an agreement that she wouldn't call me supervisor and that in the next two weeks she would see how she felt about me. I told her that I had no idea she was unhappy with me because she never gave me any criticism even when I asked for it. I told her I would prove her wrong. I went home and cried for five hours straight. If you are completely passionate about something and have worked your ass off and have gotten offered an early contract with LAUSD and then the person who you are supposed to be learning from tells you how horrible you are and how this isn't the right job for you is just about the lowest feeling one could feel. I called my supervisor, crying of course, and explained to her what happened. She was shocked and said that there must be something going on with my teacher because that is so out of her character. She told me she could try to move me to a different teacher. I decided that I would stick it out and prove to my teacher that this is the field I am supposed to be in. So I asked my supervisor not to say anything and we will see how it goes from now on. Well, the next day I went to class. I was nervous, I was still upset but I went. And my teacher was as sweet as pie. I taught a lesson and she gave me nothing but praise. I mentioned I needed a meter stick for my math lesson, she quickly went to the math room and got one for me. I mentioned I needed a flashlight, she brought me one the next day. I mentioned I needed empty toilet paper rolls, she brought me two the next day. This is her way of apologizing. This is her way of realizing that she was horrible to me. In the past two days she has been nothing but sweet to me and even asked me if I would like to take a break and sit outside because I had been teaching the whole morning. I declined. I know in my heart that this is what I am supposed to be doing and I think she realizes that as well and is now pretty much kissing my ass to make up for the nightmare of a person she became on Tuesday. I hope it continues.
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| BIG NEWS!! |
[24 Mar 2007|08:48pm] |
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I got hired with the Los Angeles Unified School District yesterday!! They offered me an early contract and I signed it! It's really happening! I am DEFINITELY going to be a teacher in September!!! :)
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[18 Mar 2007|04:45pm] |
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Still going strong with the nutrisystem..well not AS strong as I was in the beginning but I am definitely still losing weight. I do cheat now and then but I don't think that's a horrible thing. I'm able to fit COMFORTABLY into a pair of jeans I haven't been able to fit in comfortably ever before so I'm happy about that. I would guess I've lost about 15 pounds. Not bad. I feel a lot better that's for sure. School life is insane but great at the same time. I passed all my tests and became CPR certified. I am in a third grade class now and they are all ESL and it is very challenging. Very. But I got lucky last semester because it was an English only clas so it's GOOD for me to have a challenging class this semester so that if I do get a job in an ESL school, I will know how to handle it. Anyway, so that's a little bit of what's going on. I'm totally single and sometimes I don't like it one bit but at the same time I don't have time for a relationship. I finally went out for the firts time in 3 weeks on Friday and had a great time. I need to try and socialize because I start feeling depressed and isolated when I don't. Anyway, I'm about to go to a get together with my Kinder teacher from last semester and her two other student teachers so I must go. Goodbye. :)
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[22 Jun 2006|04:45pm] |
It's been awhile. Let's see. What's been going on? Well, I graduated from college on May 31st. As I was walking to the lawn where the graduation was to be held, my eyes started welling up because I never thought I would finish. It took me all in all since high school about eight years but take into consideration about a year and a half of breaks added up during that time. The ceremony was fast and enjoyable. My parents and my aunt and uncle came to witness me walk onstage and shake the dean's hand. I couldn't wipe the silly smile off my face all day. It was truly an amazing feeling of accomplishment. And although I struggled a lot this semester, I managed to pull three B's and an A which in my opinion is pretty damn good considering how often I missed class and how most of my assignments were always late because I was just so over the whole thing. My parents threw me a brunch the next weekend which was very pleasant. I have a really great family. I'm lucky. Since then I have been trying to get my applications together for the teaching credential program. Yes, I am going back to school in order to be in school for the rest of my life but this time on the other end. I want to be an elementary school teacher. Today I finally completed the entire process of the application which consisted of filling out three different applications, a tb test, taking the CBEST test, getting my fingerprints scanned, getting all my transcripts from the different colleges I went to, getting letters of recommendation, and writing a statement of purpose on why I want to be a teacher as well as answering a few questions. It was a lot of work and a lot of money to get these things all in order but hopefully I will get into the program. It's called the ACT program and it's a two semester accelerated course designed for those who are able to spend all day in class and not work. I had a long talk with my parents and they agreed to support me from September until June or July so that I can get my teaching credential as soon as possible. Had I not chosen this program it would be another two years of school and I just don't think I am capable of that anymore. So I just sent in my completed application and now it's waiting time. I'm pretty confident about gettting in though. My grades are decent although I still don't know if I passed the CBEST. I'm sure I passed the reading and the writing but I really have no clue about the arithmetic since that is my worst subject and couldn't remember a thing about percents and all that. But you don't have to pass the test in order to get into the program. They just want proof that you took it. And I did. All four hours of it!! I'm just proud of myself for getting everything done. It was stressing me out because right after I finished school I had to deal with this and I wasn't in the mood! But it's done. Now I can just sit back and enjoy my summer. Well sort of. I'm still working for the stay at home mom with the two and a half year old who is getting a little bratty these days and I've been having to take many trips down to their beach apartment in Hermosa which is no little drive. But it is pretty down there. So that's my summer job then back to school in September if I get in and I better get in because if I don't, I really do not know what the hell I will do!!
Anyway, the other night I had a horrible nightmare. I was in a show and I couldn't figure out what song to sing. I finally chose You Oughta Know by Alannis.So I walk up on stage and i look out and everyone has left. But then they hear my name so they come back I guess expecting that I'm going to be really good. The music comes on, I open my mouth and I sound TERRIBLE. Horror is written on everyone's faces. I open my mouth again and I sound even worse. Then the music stops in the middle of the song and I keep singing but I still sound awful. I run offstage and start crying hysterically and the dream was so powerful that I woke up sobbing. I mean SOBBING. Tears were streaming down my face. So needless to say, it sort of wrecked my mood for the morning. Being that it was Tuesday I decided I would go to Karaoke to prove my dream wrong. So I go to Karaoke and the song comes on and I can't hear the music so the very first part of the song I am all off!!!! I was like "OH SHIT! MY DREAM IS COMING TRUE". Then the actual chords kicked in and I proceeded to sing the shit out of the song and everyone was cheering me on through the whole thing and it was an incredible feeling. Needless to say, I kicked my dreams ass. But, the strangest thing of all is, after I finished singing I sat down and started telling my friend about my dream and it clicked that subconsciously I had picked the same song I sang terribly in my dream and without even thinking about it I chose that as my first song to sing at Karaoke. Is that intense or what?? I kicked my dream's ASS! The mind is a powerful thing that's for sure.
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[05 Oct 2005|12:29pm] |
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I'm highly considering going to graduate school. I would like to get an Masters degree in teaching. And what would I like to teach you ask? Theater to university students. And why university students you ask? Because they WANT to be there and they are usually serious about their major. I've always wanted to be a teacher in the back of my mind. I really honestly love school, so why not continue on to a higher education? So what if I don't truly start my career until my 30's? That's pretty normal these days anyway.
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| This is soo me! |
[27 Sep 2005|08:49pm] |
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Erica took the free ColorQuiz.com personality test! "Intense, vital, and animated, taking a delight in ..."
Click here to read the rest of the results.
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[14 Jul 2005|04:15pm] |
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Those crackheads came up with the money so they're not getting evicted. But lo and behold I got an apartment today! It's in a NICE neighborhood in Sherman Oaks. It's a really nice area. It's right next door to the mall and trader joes and the market and blockbuster and ventura blvd and TAE BO. It is a cute building and has a pooool. Yay. It's a small apartment but who cares? and it accepts pets. what else could you ask for? So what if it's like half the size of my apartment now? it's in a waaaaaay classier neighbor with classier tenants and a POOL and gated parking and an actual buzzer at the door. And it's only $50 more. I wasn't going to move out because i didn't want them to win but I have nightmares every night and I can't go outside when they are out there and i don't like going in the backyard because of what happened. This is better. They can have their crappy apartment. I'm moving on up.
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| Cramps |
[03 May 2005|01:13pm] |
Professor Krasilovsky,
I apologize for my absence from class today. I have severe menstrual cramps which at times can be completely debilitating in which I am unable to attend school and/or work. I hope you've never endured this before but I also hope, from a woman's standpoint, that you can understand. Will my absence affect my grade?
Erica Horenstein
Yep. Once again the cramps got the best of me. I am at work right now. I feel like a loser for missing school but I just could NOT get out of bed. I want to cry they are so bad. Not to mention the shooting pain in my lower back and the popping in my ears. Gotta go.
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[16 Mar 2005|11:15am] |
Hi. I'm still in a good mood and still haven't exercised. I had a great time last night. My mom had a boutique at her home and many women came to peruse and purchase such things as handbags, artwork, little girls' clothing and my mother's beautiful handmade jewelry. The only thing that was disappointing was that no one except Lori bought my mom's jewelry. I told her she was pricing it too high. But she doesn't agree with me. I felt so bad for her because everyone was buying the other things on display but not her beautiful jewelry. And it's really nice. And I would have bought something but like I said, TOO EXPENSIVE. She was so worried that no one would show up but the turn up rate was excellent. Lori and I got quite drunk off our favorite display, alcohol. Wine to be exact. My boss came with Sami (my angel baby, well her baby technically but mine spiritually). Trish (my boss) is becoming one of my close friends and when I was introducing her I hated telling people she was my boss because it sounds too formal so I now say my boss/friend. Everyone was telling me how great I looked and of course that felt good. My friend Nicki came and ended up buying two purses. She's got dough. She's Alex Trebec's stepdaughter.
Anyway, I am procrastinating. I have a midterm tomorrow in Children's Literature and I have so much reading to do. I'm supposed to go to either Disneyland or up north to the casino this weekend. Either gamble or be a kid again. I don't know which one I want to do more.
Oh! I ended up leaving this 7 minute long message for Shannon, the bartender at Moonshadow who kicked me out. I apologized for everything and basically said that I acted like an asshole and that I deserved to be kicked out but I have learned my lesson and would like to come back. Lori told me this morning that Shannon was very impressed by my message and that she's going to let me back in. I just need to know when because I would like to go tonight for Festival of the Egg. I will no longer have emotional outbursts when I am drunk because I will not allow myself to get THAT drunk nor do I have anything to get so upset over. The reason I acted that way was because I once again was talking to Sharon and when I am around her I am not myself and I am miserable and I am out of control. I am not speaking to her anymore. She means nothing to me finally. I am no longer attracted to her which was something that always kept me going back to her. I now find her to be scuzzy and trashy and stupid and mean. She has no appeal to me anymore. She is dead to me. I am FREE. "Free at last free at last thankgod allmighty I am free at last!"
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[08 Mar 2005|01:18pm] |
I bought a new wardrobe with color and I am feeling happier. Oh nooooo the little baby just woke up crying. :( The mom told me to just let her cry herself back to sleep but oy vey this is torturous. I can't stand it! It's gut wrenching. I want to go in there and pick her up but I can't. Oy. Ok anyway, I went to Target and spent like A LOT of money on clothes but I haven't bought myself any clothes in a decade so I don't feel guilty. I have decided to rid myself of the baggy pants, all black look and spice it up with pinks and greens and blues. Of course once in awhile I will have the desire to wear black and I will. Oh no she's crying for her mama. I hate this.
What else? Not much. I am trying to live a decent life. Ok I need to get the baby. This is ripping my heart to shreds.
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[08 Mar 2005|01:10pm] |
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What does it mean when your account is in read-only mode???
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[03 Mar 2005|02:38pm] |
Advanced
You scored 93% Beginner, 93% Intermediate, 100% Advanced, and 66% Expert!
You have an extremely good understanding of beginner, intermediate, and advanced level commonly confused English words, getting at least 75% of each of these three levels' questions correct. This is an exceptional score. Remember, these are commonly confused English words, which means most people don't use them properly. You got an extremely respectable score.
Thank you so much for taking my test. I hope you enjoyed it!
For answers to the Beginner section only (the first ten questions), visit my blog: http://shortredhead78.blogspot.com/. I will post the answers to the other questions as soon as possible.
Hey! If you liked my test, send the link to your friends. They don't need to be OkCupid members to take it.
The Commonly Confused Words Test
http://www.okcupid.com/tests/take?testid=14457200288064322170
Test statistics:
Compared to users who took the test and are and in your age group:
100% had lower Beginner scores.
100% had lower Intermediate scores.
100% had lower Advanced scores.
100% had lower Expert scores.
With respect to Beginner, users aged 55 to 59 scored highest.
With respect to Intermediate, users aged 55 to 59 scored highest.
With respect to Advanced, users aged 55 to 59 scored highest.
With respect to Expert, users aged 55 to 59 scored highest.
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| I'm almost all woman. I have one ball sac.Don't tell. |
[26 Feb 2005|08:30pm] |
Your Brain is 86.67% Female, 13.33% Male |
You have the brain of a girly girl
Which isn't a bad thing at all
You're emphatetic, caring, and in tune with emotions.
You're a good friend and give great advice. |
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[16 Feb 2005|07:19pm] |
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Shannon and I got into a fight at Moonshadow when she was working (a verbal not physical)and because she's the big "manager" she has gotten me 86ed out of there. It is so unfair. People have done WAY worse than me and still go there. I know this is not a life or death matter but it's embarassing and I am a nice Jewish girl from the valley who doesn't get kicked out of bars! It's totally wrong. My life sucks ass.
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[16 Feb 2005|11:48am] |
Ok. so I've never done this kind of thing before but I'm feeling friendless so it would be nice to get some responses. :)
1. Who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3. When and how did we meet?
4. How have I affected you?
5. What do you think of me?
6. What's the fondest memory you have of me?
7. How long do you think we will be friends?
8. Do you love me?
9. Do you have a crush on me?
10. Would you kiss me?
11. Would you hug me?
12. Physically, what stands out?
13. Emotionally, what stands out?
14. Do you wish i was cooler?
15. On a scale of 1-10, how hot am I?
16. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
17. Am I loveable?
18. How long have you known me?
19. Describe me in 3 words
20. What was your first impression?
21. Do you still think that way about me now?
22. What do you think my weakness is?
23. Do you think i'll get married?
24. What makes me happy?
25. What makes me sad?
26. What reminds you of me?
27. If you could give me anything what would it be?
28. How well do you know me?
29. Do you wish to get to know me more?
30. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
31. Leave your AIM name if you'd like to talk(or mail it if you dont want it out)?
32. Are you going to put this on your journal and see what I say about you???
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[21 Jan 2005|10:41am] |
You Have A Type A- Personality |
A-
You are one of the most balanced people around
Motivated and focused, you are good at getting what you want
You rule at success, but success doesn't rule you.
When it's playtime, you really know how to kick back
Whether it's hanging out with friends or doing something you love!
You live life to the fullest - encorporating the best of both worlds |
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